Friday, July 16, 2010

Days Of Summer

Unfortunately with the move we had to take, I was forced to sell TonTon to a friend not too long ago. I get updates on occasion and I hear that she is doing very well under saddle. I don't have any doubt of that...she's usually got a level head. She's smart and needs a challenge and hates being bossed around sometimes, but she's level headed about it.

I now reside in a small townhouse here in Grove City, Ohio. We're in the midst of everything here...everything but horses, it seems. Although Trent is still trying to get me a job at a local sulky track, I'm not looking to be very hopeful on the outcome. My work hours are terrible due to daycare being $200+ for one week, and so the horse industry will just have to wait.

Selling Taunie was a little harder than I expected. I wasn't really attached to the mare and I knew that I was going to sell her sooner or later, but selling Taunie would mean the unwelcomed departure of the equine world and the onset of reality. Reality that I am now a Stay-At-Home mom. No, its not my calling. Yes, I actually love my "job". I truly do. But I get bored. I get lonely. I find myself wishing on things that used to be, longing for them, wishing that I didn't take them for granted. I know that I will be able to resume my equine passions to a certain extent in the general future...maybe a few years from now. But it will never be what I was working for.

And do you see? I sound as though I hate my life, but I actually love my life. I chose this life, I made sacrifices to live this life, and I will fight for this life. I continue to build on this life and surround my energy and focus on it. But it isn't all I am and I tend to struggle with that on a day to day basis.

Anyways, if I continue this blog regularly now since I have the internet, be warned that it might not be about horse training. It might be about just everyday life and its frustrations and triumphs. But thats if I decide to keep it. If not...then I'll guess I'll see you guys when I pick up riding again, whenever that may be.